One of the hardest things a child has to watch is their parent self-destruct. Addition to drugs or alcohol can quickly rob a person of the activities, the responsibilities, and the relationships that were once important to them. A person who is controlled by an addiction will rarely stop on their own. It is usually up to family or close friends to take the first step and get the person to seek help.
If you have a parent who is addicted and you know they need help, it is time to confront that person. Follow the steps below to actually get somewhere in your talks.
Do it now. Many people wait for weeks, months, or even years before they get up the courage to talk to their addicted parent. They might be afraid o actually do it, or they might convince themselves the problem is not that bad yet. During this time, the person can get even more lost in addiction and it will be even more difficult to get them to accept help. As soon as you are sure there is an addiction problem, confront your parent.
Be loving. The attitude with which you confront your parent can make all the difference in the world. Instead of accusing them, explain your feelings to them. Instead of judging, lay out the facts. Make sure your parent knows you are encouraging them to get help because you care about them and want what’s best for them. Tell them you love them. Your talk might very well be an emotional one, but as long as the attitude behind it is love, not anger, you will be much more successful.
Be firm. Being loving does not mean being a pushover. You should go into your conversation with a purpose, and do all you can to carry it out. Tell your parent what you want from them (to go to treatment), when you think it should happen (immediately), and why (they can’t stop using drugs or alcohol own their own). It is also alright to give an ultimatum, but the important thing is to follow through with it. If you tell them you will cut off their visits with your children if they don’t get help, do so. If you tell them you won’t give them financial support anymore if they don’t get help, carry it out.
Have a plan. It will do you no good if you convince your parent tog et help and then leave it up to them to find a treatment facility in their own time. Your parent is struggling with a very controlling condition, and tomorrow they very well could be powerless to try to stop it once again. The best thing to do is to research some treatment centers and come to the conversation with some options for your parent. Also research insurance coverage so that you know what they can afford. My Recovery Helper can help you locate a program for your parent and answer all your insurance and payment questions. Call us anytime to learn more.
Enlist help. While you might want to talk to your parent alone the first time you confront them, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Talk to other family members or an interventionist to find out if you are doing things the right way, and also to give you some morale support. You don’t have to do this alone. Contact My Recovery Helper at (844) 867-6835 to talk to one of our addiction counselors or to find out about intervention services.